I just got back from colorgaurd retreat thing and it was funny my arms r sore from the red rover game lol :3 I loved it! I got to share things with ppl I didnt know that well I felt like I was acturally making more firends. I didnt like the dark but I delt w/ cuz I wanted to listen and share at the fire. It was cold but I didnt care we were sharing personal stuff and it was interesting though know I remeber what I was going to say after I get home. I think I made some girls think Im weird cuz I was acting a little random and I think I talked to much >///< Man I feel embarresed. I got closer to someone I didnt think that I would never get used to. lol I was wrong we had more in commen then I thought. I also found new respect in 2 ppl that I was afraid to talk to. I had respect for them it was just that I didnt know them that well. We had so much fun during the water ballon fight. I finally learned how to tie a ballon (... water ballon).

While I was listening I was also watching the fire and ocationaly saying my mind and then I noticed the some of the mothes that were flying around were landing in the fire so I randomly said, "Oh no... That moth just camited suicide...." Then everyone started laughing. Then a few more mothes did the same thing. lol I think yesterday was a really fun day. Even though we didnt go to bed till like 2 or 3 o'clock am. 0w0 Yeah we're all crazy! XD We didnt want to get up today when it turned 9 I was awake a little surprized that I fell asleep w/out a pillow and on a hardish (dont ask) mattress.
Of course the day had something bad. I started cryin. I was trying to get away so no one would know. But I couldnt get myself to the back of the cabin thingy. I just sat inside for a coulple of seconds and then walked out cuz I thought that someone was going to see me. I curled up on the picnic table and was cryin when a friend noticed and asked if I was okay and I just nodded. Then a friend (sorry not using names

) came and asked if I wanted a tissue or something. Then another one of my friends wanted a hug. Why is it that when I cry ppl want to give me hugs that's kinda the last thing I want. I dont like that much pitty when Im crying. It was one of those times were you just want to cry it out. I didnt tell anyone y I was crying cuz I afraid that they would laugh at me or think it was stupid. The reason y is ... because I was thinking of Angel again. I cant get him off my mind. I think that it was cuz someone talkin about they're little brother and while I was watching the fire I was thinking what would happen if he was alive... would he be proud of me doing this and making firends? Idk.
Well that's a lot to read lmao. XD TTYL PPLZ ♥
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